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“You Are the Average of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With.” Who Are Your Five?

A week and a half ago my friend and mentor Cliff Ravenscraft reached out to me and invited me to attend his workshop titled “Creating an Online Business Around Your Podcast.” I told him I had checked out the sales page but that it wasn’t in our budget. However, after further discussion with Cliff and my husband, I decided to make the investment.

As I figured it would be, the workshop was jam-packed with amazing information and Cliff’s presentation of that information was outstanding. The workshop was hosted in the Next Level Studio in Cliff’s home (“The Home That Podcasting Built”). Cliff and his family were so welcoming and hospitable. In addition to a great day and a half of content, the networking and relationships built were invaluable.

After the workshop I asked my friend Heather if I could swing by her house to say hi, as she lives just a few minutes away from Cliff. We sat on her back patio, and she asked some questions about the workshop. I answered enthusiastically, still on a high from it all.

Then Heather said, “I bet it was nice to get away and have some adult interaction.” I paused, then said, “Yeah, that was pretty nice.”

It hadn’t occurred to me until then. Sure, the workshop and relationships were awesome. But what I think refreshed me most was getting some time away to be in the presence of other adults—especially like-minded entrepreneurs who all have the same goal in mind: to build a responsible online business.

I didn’t realize how badly I needed it. The life of an entrepreneur can be incredibly isolating, especially in the early stages.

In the workshop, Cliff talked about Jim Rohn’s belief, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Cliff asked us to write down the five people we spend the most time with (outside of immediate family). It could be face-to-face interaction or interaction via phone, text, social media, etc.

I began to write down my five, starting with my church family and another close friend. I then realized that other than that, most of my in-person interactions are with my kids and husband. I have close friends, but I’m not intentionally getting together with them in person or picking up the phone to call them.

Cliff then asked us to take some time in the days coming up to write down the five people we want to intentionally spend the most time with moving forward. Who are the people I want to intentionally allow to influence the way I think through direct interaction?

I realized that in order to write my list and put it into action, I am going to be making some major commitments. I’ll be committing to investing in myself by committing to spending time with and investing in others.

But how in the world am I going to do that?? I’m a full time mom building an online business on the side. I don’t have time for intentional friendships!

That’s the issue though. I historically have not made (keyword “made,” not “found”) the time to be intentional about friendships. I was very academically focused in school. I got married my senior year of college, started graduate school a year later, and went straight into a job from my grad school internship. I worked full time until I had Margaret, then gradually moved down to part time, then resigned after my maternity leave with Charles. No matter which of these stages I was in, I struggled with being intentional about friendships.

After last weekend, I decided: No more. No more playing the “I’m a tired/busy mom” card. No more neglecting the amazing friendships staring me in the face because they’re just so much work. No more excuses. No more.

Is it going to be easy? Maybe not. Is it going to be worth it? Absolutely.

Jesus wants us to live in community. After all, he spent a good deal of time with his twelve best buds. It seems to have served Him quite well.

Take some time this week to do the following exercise:

First, write down the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Second, write down the 5 people you want to spend the most time with.

Third, set a plan into action that will help you grow your relationships with those people.

It may seem like a lot of work and time that you don’t have to invest. I get that. But if you make this a priority, you’ll be amazed at the way your world changes.

Are you spending time with people who are lifting you up? Are you intentional about being around positive people who have your best interests at heart? What can you do to deepen those relationships?

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Toss the Phone and Get in On the Action!

This week’s post is short and sweet. I’m presenting a challenge to you.

Go ONE WEEK without taking pictures or videos of your children.

Now, for some of us, this is no big deal. Whatever.

For others of us, it’s unthinkable! They’re so darn cute! I have to capture these moments!

Last fall, I challenged myself to do just this. One week. No photos or videos of my kids. Man, was it difficult! There were so many adorable photo ops. Between my birthday, my friend’s daughter’s birthday, my daughter just playing around being silly, and my son, well, being an adorable 3 month old, I had a hard time keeping the phone tucked away.

In those moments, I thought, Awww, I’d love to capture this!

But then the moments passed. And I didn’t care anymore. Just like that. It’s kind of like that candy bar screaming your name in the checkout aisle. By the time you’re at your car, you’ve forgotten about it.

So what’s the big deal? Why put the camera away for a week?

Here’s the thing: While we’re busy capturing and sharing memories, were missing out on being a part of those memories.

Do we want to view our children’s lives through a lens? Or do we want to be part of the action?

Do we want our children to feel like they’re being evaluated by their ability to produce picture-worthy moments? Or do we want them to feel loved and feel connected to us?

How much time are we wasting looking to see who has commented on our latest post of our adorable kid or how many likes it’s gotten? (Guilty).

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-pictures. I love pictures. But I think we’ve gotten way too obsessed with taking them, sharing them, liking them, commenting on them, and so on.

You may find yourself thinking, But they’re never going to be this small again! I don’t want to forget this moment!

Let me ask you this: What’s more important, remembering what has passed or enjoying what is right now?

So again, my challenge to you: Go ONE week without taking any pictures/video of your kids. I think you’ll be surprised and quite pleased by the results. This is an awesome experiment as we head into summer. It just might give you that little nudge to jump in on the action instead of watching and documenting it from the sidelines.

Notice how you feel more connected with your kids. So refreshing, right? From there you can decide how you’ll find a happy medium between tossing the phone and filling every gigabyte of storage with pictures and video.

Next week, come back and share you experience in the comment section below. I’d love to see how it went!

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Wanna #TrainWithTrish? It’ll Be Fun :)

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to get back into running. I had started in fall of 2015 but stopped shortly after I became pregnant with my son.

Because I’ve had issues with my knees in the past, I’m starting with brisk walks and strengthening exercises for a few weeks before I start running.

As I walked last Tuesday morning, I thought about how critical it is that I take this step forward to focus on my health. Not only is it important for me; it is important for my family. I’ve discussed here and there in my writing and speaking how important it is to take care of ourselves, including regular exercise. I’ve been walking with my kids, but that’s more like a turtle-paced stroll when you have a 3 year old. I knew I needed to start doing more.

I’ll be alternating days—walking one day, strength training the next, and so on. In a few weeks I’ll start the Couch to 5K program, which I did in the fall of 2015.

On my walk last week, I thought, “Hey, it would be cool to share my journey with anyone who wanted to follow it.” I texted my friend Cliff Ravenscraft and asked if I could steal his “thing.”

2.5 years ago Cliff embarked on a journey to focus on his health—eating well and exercising 6 days each week. He started using the hashtag #TrainWithCliff in his posts. Little did he know that he would start a movement that would launch hundreds of others into making lifestyle changes to take care of their bodies and join Cliff in his journey. I told Cliff I was thinking about doing my own hashtag and threw out a few ideas. He said he liked “#TrainWithTrish,” so I went with it.

Here are my pics from Week 1:

Now, I want to make this very VERY clear: I am by no means a fitness expert, nor do I care to portray myself as one. I leave that to my pal Daryl. (He’s super cool. You should check him out). I’m just a regular ol’ mama looking to better myself and have others join me along the way.

If you want to join me, go ahead and post those workout selfies with the hashtag #TrainWithTrish. It’ll be fun.

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Whatever You’re Doing, Mama, Be Fully Present. You’re Right Where You Need to Be.

As mamas, we have so many demands on our time, pulling us in so many different directions. Many of us have a hard time focusing on what we’re doing and being fully present. If we’re at work, we’re thinking about everything we have to do when we get home. When we’re with the kids, we’re thinking about what we’re going to make for dinner and how badly the house needs to be cleaned. When we’re cleaning the house or working on a project, we feel like we should be spending time with our kids.

When our minds are constantly running and going through all the things we think we *should* be doing, we’re going to face problems.

  • Whatever we’re doing, we’re not doing well.
  • When we’re distracted, we’re going to spend more time on any given task, leaving less time for the other things we’re thinking out.
  • We’re not fully present with our loved ones.
    • When my daughter wants my attention and I’m on my phone or the computer, she’ll come up and swat my phone away or push my laptop screen down. She recognizes that I’m present but absent.

When you’re with your kids, remind yourself of the impact that time together has on them now, and the deposits you’re making towards their future. You are investing in them, and it will benefit them for years to come. No time spent fully present with your kids is ever wasted.

Don’t feel guilty for leaving tasks left unfinished. Keep your to-do list to a minimum—the bare essentials—on any given day. Know when you’re going to complete those tasks and be committed to that. This will allow you to be fully present when you’re with your loved ones. When you’re fully present in the time you do spend with your kids, you can cut down on the guilt you may feel when you’re away from your kids because that time with them is quality time.

This week, make it a point to be fully present in whatever you’re doing—working, cleaning, spending time with your spouse, playing with your kids…whatever it may be. Take note of how this impacts your time with your loved ones. Then, come back and share your experience in a comment below!

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