The past couple weeks I felt a little “off.” I felt unsettled. I was frustrated because I couldn’t identify what the issue was.
I pulled out my list of go-to actions for when I’m not feeling myself:
- Ensure I’m rested
- Be physically active
- Get outside
- Read God’s Word
- Verbalize affirmations
- Seek enjoyable activities
- Serve others
I realized that serving others is the one I’ve been missing the most. Before I had Charles, I would attend our church‘s early service then volunteer with my husband on the facilities team every other Sunday. Up until this past weekend, I’d been keeping Charles with me while we were at church, so I wasn’t serving. I decided I was going to take Charles to the Kids’ Club nursery room so I could attend service with Jeremy and serve during the second service.
As I walked through the atrium after dropping Charles off in the nursery, I felt an exhilarating sense of freedom. I felt like Tricia again. I met up with my friend Kim and we had a wonderful time chatting while we completed our duties tidying up the restrooms during service. I almost felt guilty for how much I was loving this time, until I realized I had nothing to feel guilty about.
Looking back at this, I think I’ve pinpointed what a big part of my little “funk” the past few weeks has been. I’ve been so absorbed in my identity as Mama since Jeremy went back to work that my identity as Tricia has been neglected. As I sat in service, I enjoyed my identity as daughter. As I volunteered and chatted with Kim, I enjoyed my identity as servant and friend.
Come to think of it, I’ve had a few similar experiences recently. The past two Fridays I was able to catch up with two friends, one via video chat and the other on the phone. In talking with Heather and Ashley about our personal lives and our businesses, I enjoyed my identity as friend and entrepreneur.
Saturday night after Margaret was in bed Jeremy and I watched a movie together. In that time, I enjoyed my identity as wife.
I also recognized I needed to address the issue that I haven’t been investing in my business as much as I’d like. My identity as entrepreneur has been neglected. I haven’t been accomplishing my goals like I want to. In order to get back on track, Jeremy and I set a schedule for our week and agreed on who would work on their business when. We assigned and scheduled house duties so we’d each keep up with those during the week.
I noticed a change in me once I started giving a little more attention to my other roles. I felt much more…whole. I felt…full. I know that my role as Mama is going to continue to take a majority of my time and energy, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming like I was allowing it to be.
Do you feel like you’ve lost pieces of yourself since you’ve become a mama? Do you feel like you’re so absorbed in that role that you have forgotten what it’s like to be a wife? A sister? A daughter? A friend? Maybe you have a hobby you’d like to get back to. Maybe you want to get your business going again. Maybe you just want a change of scenery.
Take heart, Mama. You can turn things around. Reach out to someone to watch your kids so you can have some quality time with Dad. Call a friend and chat for a while. Plan a movie night with family so the kiddos can play together and you can catch up with your siblings. Entrust your infant to childcare so you can go be fully present in a church service and maybe even get back to the serving role you’ve always loved. Schedule some time to enjoy a hobby or get some work done on your business.
Feel like you don’t have the time? Know this: Whatever is truly important to you, you will make time for.
I think you’ll enjoy the breath of fresh air when you take even a few moments to step out of your mama role. Even more, you’ll find yourself feeling refreshed and rejuvenated in your role as mama when you allow yourself to enjoy your other roles.
Your life is what you make of it, Mama. Make it a life you love.
Mama, do you feel like you could use some extra guidance getting unstuck? Need some help finding some balance and incorporating healthy rhythms into your life? Check out my coaching packages. I’d love to work with you.
Not ready to dive into an individual coaching experience? Check out my online community, Mamas Thriving Together. It’s a group coaching experience designed to provide information, encouragement, and inspiration. I’d love to have you join.