Everywhere we look we see parents doing things that we’re not doing. Cindy has her preschooler in 3 sports. Amanda is cooking meals and freezing them in individual portions to feed her family dinner for an entire month. Dawn is doing baby yoga every morning. The Jones family is out on a different autumn adventure very Saturday afternoon. The list could go on and on. We look around and wonder, Am I missing out? Am I denying my children? Am I doing things wrong?
Let me tell you a little something about my family. I have my daughter in zero—count ‘em—zero activities. And I don’t plan to enroll her in any anytime soon. I don’t cook, aside from batch cooking things like beans, lentils, quinoa, etc., to have as staples throughout the week. I’ve never done baby yoga, and likely won’t. My family isn’t out and about very much.
Gosh, I feel kinda lame saying all that. But does it make me any less of a mom? Nope. Does it make those other families that do all these things and more any better than my family? Not at all.
Let me tell you a little more about my family. We follow a primarily whole-food, plant-based diet. Which is kind of a long-winded phrase for vegan. That’s right—no meat, no dairy, no eggs (with occasional exceptions). My 2 year old eats primarily beans, rice, lentils, quinoa, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. We use cloth diapers. We hang dry our clothes and use the money saved to support our church and its partners around the globe. We downsized to a 1-car family. We watch little to no TV on a daily basis and our daughter has zero access to technology otherwise. I’ve chosen to exclusively breastfeed my son (not even pumping at this point). My family uses as many non-toxic products in our home as we can and opts for essential oil use when possible as opposed to OTC medications. We will be homeschooling our children.
Some people have praised me, astounded at some of our lifestyle choices. Others think we’re nuts. I’m inclined to agree more with the ones who think we’re nuts 😉
The choices we’ve made in regards to how our family will operate is based on what we feel is best for our vision for our family. Do I feel many of the things we do are beneficial? Sure. Would I recommend our lifestyle to everyone out there? Absolutely not! Many of the things we do/don’t do would be downright outrageous for some other families to attempt to adopt.
In choosing what’s best for our family, I had to stop looking at other families and thinking, I should be doing what they’re doing. I had to drop the FOMO. I had to stop worrying I was going to screw up my kids.
I had to learn to take every choice one step at a time. To live life one day at a time. To eliminate some of the noise that had me constantly comparing myself to others (bye bye Facebook News Feed).
If you find yourself looking at other families and wondering if you should be doing what they’re doing, ask yourself these two simple questions:
- What is my vision for my family?
- Does that fit into it?
This is what I’m all about here at TriciaPrues.com: I’m here to help you establish a vision for your family so you can build a life of purpose, live passionately, and have peace in your home. Your vision will be different than others’. Your purpose will not be the same. Your passions will be uniquely yours. You will find your peace in your own way.
Make the conscious choice TODAY, Mama, to be yourself and stop the comparisons.